It takes little effort to watch a man carry a load. ~ Chinese Proverb

I think the worst possible feeling in the world is having to watch someone you care about endure pain – and not just pain of a physical nature.   Looking on as your friend, your child, your partner, your spouse or your family member wrestles with an emotional burden is heart-wrenching, maybe even more so than if it were you who were enduring the trial.  I say this because when someone is struggling under the weight of their load, I take that load on my shoulders as well. When they hurt, I hurt.  When they cry, I cry.  When they struggle, trying to make sense of it all, I am right there with them, taking it apart and putting it back together, trying to make sense of the struggle they are enduring.

I think this is typical of the love we feel towards each other in any close relationship.  And if it is not typical of everyone, well, I know that it is typical of me.  I pray; I cry out to God for answers, for peace, for endurance, for encouragement.  I search; I look for clues in human nature, in past experiences, in similar circumstances.  I question, I advise, but most of all, I listen to try and understand.

Now if I as a human feel this way when one of “my people” struggle and hurt, I can’t help but wonder how much God feels our pain when we are struggling, when we are hurting.  Matthew 11:28 tells us, “”Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  Even though God already knows what we are struggling with and what is hurting us, He wants us to come to Him with all of it.  He wants us to talk to Him about it.  And more than anything, He wants us to lay it at His feet…. He wants to help us, not because of who we are, but because of who He is – a loving, patient, all-knowing father who wants what is best for His children.

Take a load off.

Catch you on the flip side,

Ang

When you choose to be pleasant and positive in the way you treat others, you have also chosen, in most cases, how you are going to be treated others. ~ Zig Ziglar

Have you ever felt like everyone was simply being “mean” to you for no reason? Like the whole world was “out to get” you for one reason or another? That out of all the people on the planet, you were destined to be a hate magnet?   I think we all feel like that from time to time, but honestly, if you fell like that on a constant basis, maybe it’s time to check your ‘tude, dude.

Attitude has everything to do with everything: how you deal with people, how well you do your job, how much you enjoy life, and even how you handle unpleasant circumstances.  For the most part, if you are anxious, harried, or crabby around others, they are going to react to the negative energy you are projecting and throw it right back at you, babe.  So on those days that you feel like everyone is ganging up on you, maybe you should simply take into consideration that maybe, just maybe, the problem is actually you.

Proverbs 15:30 tells us, “A cheerful look brings joy to the heart…” and again, “A happy heart makes the face cheerful” (Proverbs 15:13) – yet this same concept is given many, many times throughout the Bible.  Why? Because it is important; because it is truth.   If you change your perspective, you can change your attitude. If you change your attitude, you will positively affect those around you.

Catch you on the flip side,

Ang

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

“Nice guys always lose.” “Everything always goes wrong.” “Why doesn’t anything ever work out for me?”  We’ve heard them all before… and we have probably said them all before, too.  But how much truth is there in those words?  Do things really always go wrong, or do we just get so overwhelmed when they do go wrong that we can’t even think about focusing on the good things?  Like it or not, there are very few people in this world who can absolutely lay claim to the Charlie Brown Award.

I can tell you one thing for sure: when things go wrong, it surely does seem like God is picking on us, doesn’t it? Like we’re just walking along on a bright, sunshiny day, and lo and behold! Out of the blue comes a rogue bolt of lightning that zaps us, rendering us immobile.  Why didn’t hit the guy next to me? Didn’t this same thing happen to me just last week? Last month? Last year? When is this ever going to change? Why does God single me out?

And when things are going wrong for me personally, the last thing I want to hear – though I know it to be true – is that it will all work out.  God has a plan.  God knows that you are strong enough to handle this.  To me, at that point, it sounds like Yada, Yada, Yada, and Blah, Blah, Blah.  Yet at the same time, it stirs me to begin to change my perspective, and to look for the good.  And yes, even in the most bleak situation, the most dark hour, there is a positive to be found – even if you have to just laugh bitterly at the irony of it all.  And that, my friends, is how we cope.  That is how we survive in a world filled with evil intentions, a world filled with darkness… we are God’s children, and we must shine through the darkness so that those around us can be guided by the Light.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:14-16, “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”  In all things, then, we have to look for a way to bring Truth, to bring love to those who don’t have the hope that we have because of our faith.   Even though there will be dark times for us, we have to continue to look for our positives, even when it’s hard, even when it seems impossible, because we know that the good guys do win in the end.  We do now that even when things don’t work out, even when things go terribly wrong, even when we know we have done the right thing and we feel defeated – we know that a “righteous defeat” triumphs over a “dishonorable win” every time.

I don’t know about you, but this little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine…

Catch you on the flip side,

Ang

You are remembered for the rules you break. ~ Douglas MacArthur

Rules, rules, rules! For everything you do in life, there are always rules… and sometimes the “rule book” seems to be much bigger than the actual activity you want to do.   Who makes the rules? Who enforces the rules? And then what happens if you break the rules? Ug!

My oldest daughter is learning how to drive, and it is a very nerve-wracking experience to say the least.  She is very much like any other excited teenager who is getting comfortable with power, control, and impending independence… she is ready to go at full tilt-boogie! However, she is also learning that driving is not so simple… because there are a TON of rules! “Why does driving have to be so complicated?” she asked me last night after she nearly killed us, the guy in the lane beside us driving a nearly new Dodge Charger, and an annoyed-looking driver of a Budweiser truck.   Through gritted teeth, I merely said, “It is what it is.”

What I didn’t explain to her is that rules govern everything because somewhere along the line, someone made a mistake that was noteworthy enough that a rule had to be made to keep that same thing from happening again.  Rules are made to protect us.   And what I couldn’t explain to her is that following the rules is simply a choice.  Most of the time when we break the rules, we don’t get caught by others; we follow rules to maintain integrity and so that we can have a clean conscience.  In reality, following rules is up to us, whether they be man’s laws, God’s laws, or simply matters of morality or ethics.  Because most of the time we “get away with” the minor infractions, it often leads to trouble when we move on to major infractions.  When we break “road rules”, we are monitored by police and we may get ticketed.  With moral rules, what are the consequences for lying?  Who is going to give you a ticket for adultery?  Who monitors those issues?

Contrary to popular belief, God is not a naysayer, just throwing out a bunch of rules for us that are impossible for us to follow.  On the contrary, He tells us that we can literally do whatever we want to! I Corinthians 10:23, “Everything is permissible – but not everything is beneficial.  Everything is permissible – but not everything is constructive.”  What that means to us is that, yes, we have ultimate freedom in our decisions, yet many of the decisions we make can literally destroy us.  We have the ultimate choice in what we do, but it might lead us to heartache, devastation, and ultimately, to destruction.  But if we learn to lean on God, and if we learn to follow His ways instead of a list of “don’ts”, and if we learn to follow the path of integrity and honor instead of a list of “rules”, then I firmly believe we will be rewarded, not necessarily in riches, but in knowing we have lived a rich life.

Why does life have to be so complicated?  It is what it is… And what it is is up to you.

Catch you on the flip side,

Ang

I get by with a little help from my friends. ~ The Beatles

Lately, life has had me feeling kinda funky, and not in a 70’s disco-era-cool kinda way.  I don’t think I am alone in this; I believe that we all ride the wave of “funk” every now and again… you know – it’s called “life”.  In life, we have very few certainties…. We live, we breathe, we interact with people on some level, we must take in sustenance, and eventually we die.  Everything else is not a certainty; they are gifts we have that may not be permanent.   Sight, mobility, strength, health, companionship, income, etc… Those are all things that can be gone in the blink of an eye.

Now when I am in a “funk”, I find myself going away… not physically, but mentally.  I withdraw from people.  I spend more time alone.  I contemplate, contemplate, contemplate.  I pray and search for answers.  I find myself “fixated”, if you will, until I can come up with a conclusion that is satisfactory.  And while this may not work for most people without throwing them into an anxiety attack or a deep depression, God gave me this fearsome awesome ability to approach life from a different perspective and to attack every issue in the most fair and objective way possible.  Does that mean I am always right? No.  But it does mean that He works in me differently to accomplish His purpose, whatever that may be.

But the one thing that I absolutely HAVE to have is friends.  My friends are my sounding boards.  They are the ones that I run my ideas by.  They are the ones I use to help gauge my sanity.  I know it is probably difficult to believe, but I am a talker.   And don’t get me wrong; I am a good listener too, and a general student of human nature, but when it comes to all the sifting and the sorting, I have to talk, talk, talk.  But with me, it is not just aimless chatter.  It is all pointed, all directed, and it all serves a purpose.  And I thank God for the wonderful friends He has given me who listen, offer what suggestions they can, and simply stare in amazement at some of the conclusions I eventually draw.

The point is that God not only gives us spiritual gifts, he also gives us gifts in the form of friendships and support networks.  There are 49 verses that talk about friendship in the Bible, and even more that focus on the love found in friendships.  As Proverbs 27:17 tells us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  We are all journeymen on the same road, and our greatest gift to each other is to build each other up, reach out in friendship, and sharpen each other to make the journey a better one.

Whose iron man are you?

Catch you on the flip side,

Ang

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.  ~Albert Einstein

It is what it is. ~ Angie Swafford

I had a very unusual, wonderful, unexpected, crazy, confusing, disenchanting, uplifting, inspiring, completely SURREAL Memorial Day weekend… and I am sure that you all know exactly what I mean.  Life is each and every one of those things on any given day.  But this weekend, I got to par-tay with a bunch of teenage girls – including my beautiful daughter Blakelee – and some very, very good friends who are, at this point, mi familia.  (And for a girl who doesn’t really have that foundation in family, this is a joyous prospect… I can’t even begin to describe the joy I have found through the bond I share with my new old friends.)  I got to spend time with someone I admire deeply, someone who goes to bat for those who can’t defend themselves, and sacrifices a great deal to do so.  And all of my kids came home early on Memorial Day, so I got to spend extra time with them, too. On my way to this wonderful weekend par-tay, my Ford Excursion-load (yes, I do drive the wonderful behomothic gas hog of an Excursion) of passengers (yes, it was FULL) got the privilege of running errands with me.  When you drive a vehicle that gets 11-miles-to-the-gallon-on-a-very-good-day, you take advantage of every “excursion”.   While my companions and I were literally running through the mall to get our tasks accomplished, we came across a kiosk filled with Christian T-shirts.  Now, I have a very off-beat and unique sense of humor, so when I pointed out the T-shirt that proclaimed, “Jesus Saves on the First Date”, I began laughing hysterically.  Larry, the father of three of the girls present, looked at me like I had lost my blinking mind.  Now Larry is a big man with a big heart, and he has officially become my big brother.  I love him dearly.   So I told him I found him a shirt for his next “first” date.  He loudly proclaimed that if he wore that on a first date, he certainly would not be having a second date.  My response? In a thick accent, I said, “Not if you tell them your name is Jesus.”

But in all of this, the reality is that companies make these shirts to make a profit.  That means someone is buying them.  Not that I think buying a Christian t-shirt is wrong… please! But donning a corny t-shirt does not make you a Christian.  As a matter of a fact, I think sometimes, it turns people off.  Why? Because while you are wearing that shirt, the reality is that everyone you meet is carefully weighing your character, watching what you do, and listening to what you say.  And by golly, if you slip up, they will be paying attention.  Right, wrong, or indifferent, that is just the way of the world.

The reality is that the t-shirt we wear should not be a slogan, the bumper sticker on our car should not be accusatory, and the music we listen to should not be the hallmark of our faith.  The reality is that all of those things should come from the way we live life, the actions that others see in us every day. Colossians 2:17 tells us, “…reality, however, is found in Christ”… We should be living a life worth of the example of Christ.  Does that mean that we should be “perfect”? We can’t be!  But we can do what is humanly possible (1%) and lean on God for the rest (99%).

It is what it is.

Catch you on the flip side,

Ang

Entertaining Angels by the light of my TV screen; 24/7, You wait for me.  Entertaining Angels by the time I fall to my knees; Host of Heaven, sing over me. ~ The Newsboys

Ah, the thought of angels and demons… There is more literature written and more thought-provoking conversations that have taken place about this particular topic than perhaps any other.   The spiritual world fascinates us because, bottom line, most of us simply don’t understand it.  How can we reconcile the fact that all day, every day, while we are carrying on about our business, there is another level of activity happening all around us.  Yes, we hear people say, ‘You must have had your guardian angel looking out for you”, but do we really accept it? Do we believe it?

Call me crazy, but I do.  I have personally experienced Divine interventions so powerful that they simply cannot be explained away.  I have felt complete comfort in situations so bizarre that I should have literally been wetting my pants, but I felt nothing but pure peace and ultimate protection.  I have witnessed the unexplainable.  I have had just the right thing happen at just the right time so often that it cannot merely be explained away as “coincidence” or “luck”.  And I believe that God protects all of His children in this manner, but we just fail to recognize it.

And I know for a fact, on at least two identifiable occasions in my life, I have had the opportunity to “entertain angels”.   And let me tell you, when you have actually had such an intense spiritual experience, no matter how insignificant it may seem at the time, it changes you.

We are told in Hebrews 13:2, “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”  We are given opportunities every day to help, inspire, encourage and serve.  Yet all too often we allow those opportunities to pass us by because we don’t want to get involved.  Let me tell you that the blessing you will receive is far greater than any negative that you might encounter. And maybe, just possibly, in doing so, you will be “entertaining angels”.

24/7…

Catch you on the flip side,

Ang

Sometimes I wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then. ~ Bob Segar

Knowledge is power. Yet there are some things that I truly wish I didn’t know.  Yes, it is true that I am admittedly the “Information Girl”, but curiosity in human nature and in all kinds of information has led me to some discoveries that, in the long run, have hurt me to the point that true ignorance may have been a better option.

But we are all human, and we don’t want to hurt.  We don’t want to hear about the bad things that the world has to offer.  We don’t want to dwell in negativity.  And we certainly don’t want bad things to happen.  Unfortunately, however, we are all faced with the knowledge that people will fail us.  We will fail ourselves.  People will hurt us, and we, in turn, will hurt them.  This world – this life – with all of its awful wonderfulness was simply not meant to last.  People will drift in and out of our lives, painful situations will occur, and life will still go on.  We will cope, even when we don’t want to.  But I still find myself at times wishing I didn’t know all of these things: the heartaches, the heartbreaks, and the simply unbearable hurts that eventually heal, but leave scars.  And we all bear scars as reminders of what we have learned and as guideposts to where we are headed.

I John 2:17 tells us that, “The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.”  So whatever scars we now bear will no longer matter; whatever knowledge of the negative things, the evil things, the hurtful things we have gained in this life will no longer matter; it will all pass away.  In the big picture, the “things” we have had to endure should be those very “things” that draw us nearer to God and further away from the negative things this world has to offer.  Don’t you think it is time to use that knowledge to head in a more positive direction?

Move to higher ground.

Catch you on the flip side,

Ang

Lean on me, when you’re not strong, and I’ll be your friend – I’ll help you carry on! ~ Bill Withers

Life can just be too much – too much pain, too much drama, and too much to take.  Part of that is our humanity; we take way too much on ourselves and become overburdened and stressed out.   Some of it is just the way life rolls; we all have things that go wrong, and sometimes those things just keep coming in waves.  Whatever the situation, the point is that life is hard.

But what do we do when life gets to be too much? Do we shut down and shut everyone out? Do we simply smile and pretend that everything is fine when inside we are slowly withering away? Do we slip into depression mode and just go through the motions? Do we try and handle everything ourselves? While it is true that we don’t want to be around negative attitudes because they are extremely contagious, the point is that sometimes, we all hurt, and it is our responsibility to each other to try and lighten another’s load.

We are told in Galatians 6:2 to, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”  God wants us to help each other.  He made us community creatures so that we would depend on each other to carry one another through the difficult times in life when everything just seems too hard.  Reaching out to one another and asking for help isn’t admitting a weakness; it is exhibiting strength.  So the next time you feel overstressed, overburdened and overwhelmed, plug in your neon sign that simply states, “Help me!”  I am certain that if you have been that friend indeed, your friends will come running when you are in need.

Catch you on the flip side,

Ang

Liars are fryers.

Man, if that were true, I’d have been burnt toast many, many, MANY times over!  I think that if there is one thing we have gotten good at as a society and as individuals, it’s lying – to our employers, to our children, to our significant others, and especially to ourselves.  It’s like a hot dog vendor at a baseball games, “Lies!  We got yer lies right here!  Big ones, little ones, white ones, dark ones, and for a discounted price, we even got yer whoppers!”

When I was about ten-years-old, I was visiting with extended family at my grandpa’s house.  Now I didn’t know anyone there very well because I rarely saw my “real” dad – I never actually met my dad until I was 8 ½, and I never had any sort of regular visitation with him.  But I did love visiting with this “family” that I didn’t really know; there was something different about them.  Their families were close, and there was a strong parent-child relationship there that I had never experienced.  I had four female cousins there that were all younger than me; Amber was closer to my age than the others, so we naturally gravitated towards one another.

One the day of one particular visit, there was a chocolate layer cake in the kitchen that we were not supposed to touch.  Well, Amber and I both loved chocolate, so we were both salivating over it.  And of course, even though we were told to leave it alone, I had the bright idea that we could use our fingers to taste the frosting and not get caught.  I must tell you that Amber was against the idea from the start.  But I came from a household where conflict was a way of life, and while I was afraid of the beating I would get if I got caught, the temptation of eating chocolate cake was more than I could bear.   So Amber and I disobeyed… and got caught.

Now when we were confronted, I immediately lied.  I was terrified!  I didn’t know these people, and I knew that at my house, you got beaten for even thinking about doing the wrong thing, let alone outright disobedience.  But when Amber’s dad, my Uncle Grant, confronted her, she immediately confessed.  I couldn’t believe it! She was crying as he took her by the hand and escorted her into the bathroom for a spanking.  I had no idea why he was taking her there, because when I got in trouble, my mom would grab the first instrument available and go to town in front of everyone!  So when they went into the bathroom and closed the door, I stood outside and listened.

Uncle Grant spoke firmly, yet gently at the same time, and explained why she was getting a spanking, and asked Amber if she understood.  She answered yes.  Then he told her that he loved her – and I heard the unmistakable sound of a single swat being administered, Amber crying, Uncle Grant telling her again that he loved her, and Amber apologizing. And I am standing outside that bathroom door, just amazed at what I had heard!  For the first time in my life, I had witnessed discipline in the truest form of the word.  I felt ashamed of my lie, and curious about this whole process.  And when they finally came out of the bathroom, the incident was not spoken of again.

I would like to say I never lied again after that day, but that is not true.  Lying at that point in my life was more about survival than anything.  But I also learned a valuable lesson that stuck with me that day, and I believe that I am an honest adult because of that whole incident, and how it stirred me to think about the consequences of our actions.

Now, being a bit older and wiser, I realize that when I do the wrong things in life, I still need to be disciplined.  I need to learn from my mistakes and carry those lessons with me.  In order to change and grow into the person God is molding me to be, I have to accept the discipline for the things I do wrong, and say, ‘I’m sorry’.  Hebrews 12: 5-6 explains, “…do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves…”  When things go wrong and we question why, maybe we just need to look at what actions led us to this point, accept the discipline (even though we don’t want to), and simply say, “I’m sorry.”

Catch you on the flip side,

Ang