Liars are fryers.
Man, if that were true, I’d have been burnt toast many, many, MANY times over! I think that if there is one thing we have gotten good at as a society and as individuals, it’s lying – to our employers, to our children, to our significant others, and especially to ourselves. It’s like a hot dog vendor at a baseball games, “Lies! We got yer lies right here! Big ones, little ones, white ones, dark ones, and for a discounted price, we even got yer whoppers!”
When I was about ten-years-old, I was visiting with extended family at my grandpa’s house. Now I didn’t know anyone there very well because I rarely saw my “real” dad – I never actually met my dad until I was 8 ½, and I never had any sort of regular visitation with him. But I did love visiting with this “family” that I didn’t really know; there was something different about them. Their families were close, and there was a strong parent-child relationship there that I had never experienced. I had four female cousins there that were all younger than me; Amber was closer to my age than the others, so we naturally gravitated towards one another.
One the day of one particular visit, there was a chocolate layer cake in the kitchen that we were not supposed to touch. Well, Amber and I both loved chocolate, so we were both salivating over it. And of course, even though we were told to leave it alone, I had the bright idea that we could use our fingers to taste the frosting and not get caught. I must tell you that Amber was against the idea from the start. But I came from a household where conflict was a way of life, and while I was afraid of the beating I would get if I got caught, the temptation of eating chocolate cake was more than I could bear. So Amber and I disobeyed… and got caught.
Now when we were confronted, I immediately lied. I was terrified! I didn’t know these people, and I knew that at my house, you got beaten for even thinking about doing the wrong thing, let alone outright disobedience. But when Amber’s dad, my Uncle Grant, confronted her, she immediately confessed. I couldn’t believe it! She was crying as he took her by the hand and escorted her into the bathroom for a spanking. I had no idea why he was taking her there, because when I got in trouble, my mom would grab the first instrument available and go to town in front of everyone! So when they went into the bathroom and closed the door, I stood outside and listened.
Uncle Grant spoke firmly, yet gently at the same time, and explained why she was getting a spanking, and asked Amber if she understood. She answered yes. Then he told her that he loved her – and I heard the unmistakable sound of a single swat being administered, Amber crying, Uncle Grant telling her again that he loved her, and Amber apologizing. And I am standing outside that bathroom door, just amazed at what I had heard! For the first time in my life, I had witnessed discipline in the truest form of the word. I felt ashamed of my lie, and curious about this whole process. And when they finally came out of the bathroom, the incident was not spoken of again.
I would like to say I never lied again after that day, but that is not true. Lying at that point in my life was more about survival than anything. But I also learned a valuable lesson that stuck with me that day, and I believe that I am an honest adult because of that whole incident, and how it stirred me to think about the consequences of our actions.
Now, being a bit older and wiser, I realize that when I do the wrong things in life, I still need to be disciplined. I need to learn from my mistakes and carry those lessons with me. In order to change and grow into the person God is molding me to be, I have to accept the discipline for the things I do wrong, and say, ‘I’m sorry’. Hebrews 12: 5-6 explains, “…do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves…” When things go wrong and we question why, maybe we just need to look at what actions led us to this point, accept the discipline (even though we don’t want to), and simply say, “I’m sorry.”
Catch you on the flip side,
Ang
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