The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. ~ William Arthur Ward
There is nothing wrong with being an optimist. You might annoy people because you are always upbeat and “perky”, but it’s cool to have a good outlook on life. And there is nothing wrong with being a pessimist, either – but you also might annoy people because of your gloom and doom mentality. A good middle-of-the-road place to be is realism. However, being a realist gets you into trouble in a different way; realists are very honest, and in a world that is filled with smokescreens and illusions, people have a very difficult time swallowing that pill we call “truth”.
For a long time in my life, from my late teens to my late twenties, I was the girl who always thought everything was crystal clear. You could literally insult me to my face and I would blow it off, telling myself, “She’s just having a bad day.” The ultimate optimist, the ultimate Pollyanna… until life and reality completely set in. Once I realized the psychological composition of people and the way our minds work, I became much more realistic.
In order to help each other, truly help in ways that are life-changing, we have to sometimes give a dose of realism otherwise known as a “reality check”. If you do not have at least one person in your life that can be brutally honest with you without offending you, then you are totally missing out on the most intimate form of friendship. In my life, I have several such people, and I feel amazingly blessed to have them. They know they can point out things that I am not handling well and I will listen to what they have to say, and re-navigate my course if it is necessary. And I also know that no matter how many times or how badly I fail, they will always be there to encourage and support me. That’s real.
And now I am the friend who can be that reality check for others. I can be fully optimistic; I can be fully encouraging; I can be fully supportive; I can be fully hopeful. But I can also be honest and real, because otherwise, I am not being a good friend. Proverbs 24:26 tells us that, “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” And how wonderful is that? Honesty, when given with love and compassion, is a special gift not only for the one who receives, but also for the one who gives.
Honestly…
Catch you on the flip side,
Angie
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Too true. Over the past few years I have noticed how many social contracts there seem to be floating amongst this culture. You say something nice about my shirt…even if you don’t mean it, and I, in return, say something complimenting about your nose…even if I don’t mean it.
It seems we have become a society of thin skinned ninnies who if we don’t get some form of compliment, even if it is not sincere or honest…we simply break into shambles and can not move forward.
Many have placed there totality of self confidence in the hands of strangers, rather than an almighty God. Shame on us.